Football Family

I thought I would post some Friday night pics since I have not posted in a while. This is my busy time of year.

Twirl

I read this blog this morning and it really resonated with me. I think it will resonate with every woman.

http://jonesdesigncompany.com/thoughts/twirl/

I have always felt pressure to do, to be more. That I am never good enough. My clothes aren't right, I am not the right weight, my hair is not the right color, I am not doing enough for my decorating blog, I need to do more projects, and on and on and on. And now that I am a mom it is compounded even more. What is your child doing now, mine child is doing this, what are your feeding your child, how much is he sleeping, etc, etc, etc.! You can drive yourself crazy. Through the past 11 months, God has helped me to let go of some of that pressure with Brayson but for some reason I can't let go of it elsewhere.

I need to remember this verse:

"The Lord your God is with you,
He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing."

- Zephaniah 3:17

I want to be delighted in, I want to be quieted with HIS love, I want to hear Him rejoicing over me with singing. Lord help me to hear You.

Pray this verse for yourself and I hope and pray you hear His rejoicing over you.

Summer Family Picture

Since I haven't posted in a while - thought I would share a family pic from this summer. This was taken in June.

Scary but fun step

So after my last post, I have decided to have a blog about my decorating journey. It is kinda scary because I am by no means an expert. I am trying to learn as much as possible. But I have to take a step of faith. If I fail or look like a fool - that is okay. So please join me here and join me on my journey.

This blog will still be about my life, what is going on in my family, what I am learning from the Lord, etc. So stay with me here too!

Here goes something....(instead of nothing)

Darling I don't know why I go to extremes....

Last night Brayson and I were dancing to Billy Joel's "I Go To Extremes". Billy Joel is one of my faves and this is one of my favorite songs of his. As I was dancing around with Brayson, I was thinking about the words of the song and how I am like this song.



"Darling, I don't know why I go to extremes. Too high or too low, there ain't no in between."



If you know me, you know that generally I am a pretty laid back person. So you might not understand how this applies to me. Where I go to extremes is goals and expectations I place on myself. I set a high and lofty goal (the high) and then fail at one point or the other and just give up (the low). And most of the time, no one knows the goals I have set. So no one knows my failures.




I also see wonderful things from friends and other bloggers that I want to do or inspire me but I get overwhelmed and don't even try because I feel like I have to make these big leaps and bounds instead of taking baby steps.




Why am I so hard on myself? Why am I my worst critic? I think I have so bought into the world's view of success and what it means to get there. I constantly feel like I am late to the party and a failure. But who says I have to be on the world's timeline. Who cares that I became a Mother at 38? Who cares that I am just figuring out things that I am passionate about? Who cares that I may fail? It doesn't matter what the world thinks. What matters is I am who God created me to be. If called me to be a Mom later in life - so be it! I love it! If I never teach another Bible Study or speak - so be it! As long as I am where the Lord wants me. If it takes me a long time to develop my passion for decoarting - so be it!





So here goes a baby step for me - I am really learning that I really have a love/passion for decorating. I guess I come by it honestly since my Dad was an Interior Designer. I love Decorating books, decorating magazines, fabrics, colors, furniture, etc. So this summer I have started my inspiration book of what I like. I am also reading Open Your Eyes by Alexandra Stoddard. It is a book I bought a few years ago.

I am debating whether to do decorating inspiration/ideas here on this blog or develop a different blog. Hmmmm.....we will see. Remember - baby steps. ;)


My other passion is teaching the Word of God. I love it. There is nothing like digging into the Word and listening to what the Lord has to say to me. But having a baby has put things on hold. And that is sooo okay! I am doing my own study on Joshua. But it is slow going. I am struggling with getting up in the morning. It is so hard when I love sleep and I am sleep deprived. So my baby step here is to get up 10 minutes earlier. Then work my way up. So I am posting it here. So feel free to ask me how I am doing.

Motherhood

Like I have said before in some posts, I never knew I would love being a Mom. I was not one of those girls growing up who knew they wanted to be a Mommy. That just wasn't a desire of mine. I honestly never thought I would have kids. I have always liked kids. Never have minded babysitting. I think a big part of it is also being a child of divorce. I saw how much my Mom struggled being a single Mom raising 3 kids. Mind you my brothers are twins and are 2.5 years younger than me. So my Mom had her hands full. She did the best she could raising us but it was a struggle. I never wanted to go through that. And that fear probably fed the mentality of not having kids.





So here comes New Years Jan. 2009 - I told the Lord if He wanted me to have kids, I was willing. I did not want to miss out on any blessing He had for me. Bam - a few weeks later I get pregnant. And as many of you know that was a total surprise. I call it the Lord's shock and awe plan for me. I struggled a lot during my pregnancy and during the first few weeks after Brayson was born. I believe I went through a little bought of Post Partum Depression. But after the Lord pulled me through that, I have truly loved being Brayson's Mom. It is not easy. It is very hard at times. Sleep deprivation is a killer. But I know all of it is worth it. Especially when I see this smile:

Or we have our little laugh fests. He is so much fun and such a joy. He is one of the greatest things that has happened in my life. Besides first of all knowing Christ and then marrying Wendell.

I feel like I am more of who I am supposed to be and the other things that I believe God has for me will fall into place at the right time. I am so glad knows what is best for me better than I do. So much better.

Me and B